“1. He makes snide jokes at your expense. Although boorish and rude, the occasional zinger isn’t an automatic ticket to the Abusers Hall of Fame.

But aiming poison barbs in your direction and then brushing it off – like “Can’t you take a joke?” – shows a lack of respect. “It’s a sign of emotional distancing, which can very quickly turn into abuse,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., (aka Dr. Gilda), an advice columnist on Match.com and author of He’s Not All That (Collins).

Emotional abuse can become physical with very little notice. Just ask Aimee, 41, of San Francisco, who was in an abusive relationship for eight years – while working at a battered women’s shelter! It was so subtle, says Aimee (whose name was changed to protect her privacy). “It went from unhealthy to pathological in such tiny increments that I accepted every little increment completely.”

By the time it crossed over into physical abuse, “I couldn’t name it. I was in absolute denial,” she says.

2. The relationship is on the fast track. He’s infatuated with you and is already talking commitment. But slow down. A light-speed lothario often has something to hide, says relationship therapist Joyce Morley-Ball, Ed.D. (aka Dr. Joyce).

If he’s quick to say “I love you” and soon makes plans for moving in, getting married and having a baby, he may be trying to lock up the relationship before you can see what he’s really about.

He knows you’re less likely to leave him after you get involved, she says.

3. Nothing is ever his fault. That speeding ticket? The cop had it in for him. The job he lost? The boss had a grudge against him. The promotion he didn’t get? The woman who did must have been sleeping with the boss. Maybe your guy has the worst luck ever. Or consider this: The man who never takes responsibility for any of his actions may be quick to blame you when he ultimately loses control of his temper – and his fists. “If you hadn’t done _____, I wouldn’t have hit you.”

If he can get you to believe it’s your fault, he’s off the hook in his mind. So take notice of his blame list – you could be next.

4. You’re always making excuses for his behavior. He’s tired. He had a hard week. He’s under a lot of pressure. He’s only like that when he’s had too much to drink. Sure, these excuses may explain the rare social gaffe and could, in fact, be true. But if you’re regularly trying to explain away rude, violent or disrespectful behavior, you could be emotionally abused.

“There’s this wall of denial that we put up when we’re in a relationship, and we all do it to some extent,” Sugg says. “But you shouldn’t have to explain away someone else’s behavior.”

It’s just like a slap in the face, she says. “How many of those slaps would you take?”

5. You bend over backward so he doesn’t get upset.
Are you walking on eggshells because of his hair-trigger temper that erupts for everything big (a blown deal) to small (his beer warm)?

See the other signs of abuse

Much more than recipes, The Self-Healing Cookbook gives fresh, heartwarming support to anyone aiming to prevent or recover from diet-related moods and health symptoms. A starter shopping list, food-mood charts, self-healer’s workbook, and healing foods glossary are included. Along with a wealth of wisdom on how to eat locally, think globally, cook with the seasons, lose weight naturally and nourish growing kids.

Word-of-mouth has carried this book to Great Britain, Canada, Singapore, Israel, and Australia. Over 21,000 copies have sold in the Japanese edition. In April, 2002, it will be published in Brazil, in a Portuguese edition. We’d love to hear from international readers where else it has found a home in your kitchens.

Get it now: The Self-Healing Cookbook: Whole Foods To Balance Body, Mind and Moods

My best solution for this situation so far is this Elliptical Trainer, which I absolute adore and if I didn’t have it, I’d gain approximately 30 pounds during those harsh, cold winter months where all you want to do is eat comfort food. This way, you can eat your comfort food but work it off. And remember, exercise is a great way to fight depression, that can sometimes creep in your life during these months. Just eliminate that whole SADD process. How awesome is that?

More about Elliptical Trainers
Elliptical trainers represent the next wave of advancement in low-impact cardiovascular exercise machines and continue to grow in popularity. By simulating motions experienced through walking, stepping, cycling, and skiing, elliptical machines allow for a smooth and fluid motion while building strength in the arms and legs. Similar to the exercise position for treadmills, elliptical trainers are used by standing in an upright position while holding the handrails of the machine. With elliptical trainers, however, your feet remain in the foot pedals throughout the exercise regimen and circulate in a smooth and seamless motion, resulting in little to no impact on the knees, back, and hips.

Elliptical trainers are compatible for all ages and fitness levels and allow you to select the difficulty level through the incline and intensity settings. Additionally, elliptical trainers allow you to determine the complexity of your workout based on your needs, all while listening to music, watching television, or reading a magazine while exercising in the comfort and safety of your own home.

Although different types of elliptical trainers offer an assortment of features, many of them include an array of challenging programs, forward and reverse directional movement, EKG grip pulse handles, a lightweight portable design with easy fold-up capability, and a monitor displaying calories burned, distance, speed, time, and heart rate. Other types of exercise machines, namely treadmills and bikes, offer excellent cardiovascular exercise and muscular training for the legs in a forward-motion exercise. Elliptical trainers take this to the next level by offering an upper and lower body workout with dual motion, challenging and diverse programs, and a low-impact exercise machine that won’t strain sensitive joints.

See photos and find out more about getting in shape

Marital Strife
Research has shown that married people tend to have fewer sleep problems than those who are divorced. But it turns out the quality of the marriage is important, too. New research out of the University of Pittsburgh indicates that happily married women had fewer troubles falling asleep, staying asleep, fewer early morning awakenings and more restful sleep compared with unhappily married women.

Being With Baby
Most new parents lose shut-eye waiting for their babies to learn to sleep through the night. But new research from Penn State University shows that parents’ sleep and their satisfaction with the infant’s night-time behavior was worse when the infants spent any part of the night with parents vs. those who slept apart. This was true even of parents who endorsed the concept of co-sleeping with their babies.

Health Concerns
Are worries about cancer keeping you up at night? New research out of the Brooklyn Health Disparities Center at SUNY Downstate Medical Center and Long Island University in Brooklyn shows that a significant number of women worried about cancer, none of whom had a history of a physician-diagnosed cancer, had trouble sleeping.

A Sleep Disorder
In cases of sleep apnea, the throat is blocked during sleep, preventing sufficient air flow to the lungs. The blockage may be caused by the relaxation of the throat muscles, too much fatty tissue in the throat–an obesity-related problem–or a naturally small airway. The condition leads people to snore as well as temporarily stop breathing during sleep, causing them to momentarily awaken.

Father Time
Sleep patterns change as we age. Health experts say that between the ages of 50 and 60, people tend to sleep lighter and wake up more frequently. More trouble falling asleep is also a common complaint. Some sleep disruption is also due to the pain or discomfort of chronic illnesses, such as arthritis, that affect the aging population.

Heart Disease
While poor sleep can contribute to heart disease, poor heart health also can upset your night’s sleep. According to research reported in the Harvard Heart Letter in 2007, people with heart failure may wake up due to breathing troubles, a result of fluid buildup in the lungs. Some people may also experience angina or chest pain, atrial fibrillation and palpitations at night, which can disturb sleep.

Too Busy
A hectic daily schedule can wreak havoc on your ability to get a good night’s sleep, particularly if you don’t make time to decompress for a half hour or an hour before climbing into bed. Most people need to spend some time processing what’s happened during the day and planning for the next to help them wind down.

Depression And Anxiety
It’s estimated that 40% to 50% of people with insomnia also have depression or an anxiety disorder. New research out of the Centers of Pediatric Sleep Disorders at the University of Rome La Sapienza shows the connection is present in children, too. A study looking at more than 100 children ages 7 to 11 who had a major depressive disorder and 200 of their healthy peers showed that 82% of the depressed, medication-free children had trouble sleeping, vs. 5% of the control group.

Medication
One option for people dealing with depression is to take selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), antidepressants that affect serotonin levels. But the medications can cause insomnia, a double whammy considering that many people who face depression already have difficulties sleeping. If you’re having trouble sleeping, it might be worth it to talk to your doctor about your prescriptions.

Environment
Whether we’re just born that way or it’s a side effect of insomnia, some of us are more sensitive to noise at night than others. The temperature of your bedroom can also have an impact on how many winks you get. It’s also believed to be better to have a cool rather than warm bedroom. Some studies have shown that it’s the cooling off effect you experience after drinking warm milk or taking a warm bath that helps you feel sleepy.

You’re A Woman
Women tend to have higher rates of insomnia than men. Research suggests a host of reasons. Certain phases of a woman’s period, pregnancy and menopause all cause hormonal changes that can cause sleeping problems, not to mention the discomfort associated with pregnancy for many and the sleep deprivation often associated with child rearing.

Too Much Napping
You may think you’re doing yourself a favor by taking a nap after a restless night’s sleep. Think again. Experts say that napping during the day decreases your overall drive for sleep, which builds throughout the day, and may make it more difficult for you to fall asleep at night.

Staying In Bed
If you’re trying to sleep but having no luck, do yourself a favor and get out of bed. People tend to think that by sticking it out in bed, rather than getting up and doing something, they at least have a chance of falling asleep. But lingering can increase performance anxiety. After a while you may begin to associate lying in bed with your struggle to fall asleep rather than a restful snooze.

Late Night Eating
Eat a big meal before bedtime and you’re asking for a restless night’s sleep. Your body may be too focused on metabolizing your meal to relax. If the meal happened to be a big plate of pasta you could wind up waking up hungry in the middle of the night. Experts recommend eating snacks throughout the day so you don’t overload at dinner and making sure you don’t hit the hay until at least three hours after dinner.

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It can prevent and treat a wide range of health problems, it cleans and purifies the home, and adds zest and nutritional value to food. Find out everything you wanted and needed to know about The Healing Powers of Vinegar. This fascinating book traces the origins of vinegar to ancient Greece and Egypt and follows its history to the present day. You’ll read advnice from leading alternative health practitioners as well as medical researchers. There’s great detail about the healthful ingredients found in two of the most important vinegars: apple cider vinegar and red wine vinegar, explaining the benefits of their vitamins, minerals, enzymes and amino acids. Here, you’ll find the latest research about cutting-edge nutrients found in these two vinegars, including a new class of antioxidants that reduce the risk of cancer and protect against heart disease.

You will also see beauty tips and household hints as well as over 100 recipes that team-up vinegar with other nutritious foods for a healthier and longer life.

Read other people’s review of this book and find out more about the power of vinegar.

The 24-Hour Pharmacist- is the perfect pill for anyone seeking insight on overall health from a resource that is thorough and fun to read. With chapter titles such as “Frazzled, Frustrated and Freaked Out: Coping with Anxiety and Stress” to “More Jiggle, Less Joint Pain: What You Can Do About Arthritis” you get the sense that the author well knows what course to recommend but also truly enjoys educating others. One feature I found especially enlightening were the sections in each chapter entitled “Suzy’s Secrets From Behind The Counter”. Here is where she (Suzy) offers great little insights to live by with a perspective that only a pharmacist can give. One good example of this is in the chapter about weight loss where she explains that some drugs can make you hungry. Included in her list are sedatives and tranquilizers, antidepressants, allergy pills, female hormones and diuretics. Wow, who knew?

Read more about it here: The 24-Hour Pharmacist

“Prozac, the bestselling antidepressant taken by 40 million people worldwide, does not work and nor do similar drugs in the same class, according to a major review released today.

The study examined all available data on the drugs, including results from clinical trials that the manufacturers chose not to publish at the time. The trials compared the effect on patients taking the drugs with those given a placebo or sugar pill.

When all the data was pulled together, it appeared that patients had improved – but those on placebo improved just as much as those on the drugs.

The only exception is in the most severely depressed patients, according to the authors – Prof Irving Kirsch from the department of psychology at Hull University and colleagues in the US and Canada. But that is probably because the placebo stopped working so well, they say, rather than the drugs having worked better.

“Given these results, there seems little reason to prescribe antidepressant medication to any but the most severely depressed patients, unless alternative treatments have failed,” says Kirsch. “This study raises serious issues that need to be addressed surrounding drug licensing and how drug trial data is reported.”

The paper, published today in the journal PLoS (Public Library of Science) Medicine, is likely to have a significant impact on the prescribing of the drugs. The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (Nice) already recommends that counselling should be tried before doctors prescribe antidepressants. Kirsch, who was one of the consultants for the guidelines, says the new analysis “would suggest that the prescription of antidepressant medications might be restricted even more”.

The review breaks new ground because…”

Continue

Others will spend today watching depressing movies, perhaps love stories with the most sad endings ever imagined by some wicked French film maker that can’t resist concluding a film with everyone dying at the end, or at least one person jumping out the window.

Anyway. Don’t do that. If you’re date-less today, gather some of your other solo Valentines and watch happy romantic comedy movies together. That way, you’ll feel good and it’ll give you some hope that there IS hope! In any case, just have a fun, lighthearted day today and you won’t feel the need to eat crazy fattening foods.

Here are some happy love story movies (romantic comedies mostly) suggestions:

1. Death at a Funeral
2. Rushmore
3. Shakespeare in Love
4. Annie Hall
5. Serendipity
6. French Kiss
7. The Wedding Singer
8. Roxanne
9. Meet the Parents
10. Splash
11. Much Ado About Nothing
12. Reality Bites
13. Amelie
14. Moonstruck
15. Shall We Dance?
16. Notting Hill
17. Sleepless in Seattle
18. Muriel’s Wedding
19. So I Married an Axe Murderer
20. Music and Lyrics

When people have mental health issues, particularly with depression, it takes a huge effort to get better and recover, but the greatest challenge remains in trying to stay well from that point on.

With Optimism software, users actively learn about their depression. They monitor patterns in their life and begin to see the various internal and external factors that affect their health. Once these factors are realized, it makes it easier to take control and leave depression far behind them. Users will no doubt learn a great deal about what really triggers depression. Maybe it’s a certain food or lack of sleep. Perhaps it’s from watching disturbing films or from a stressful work environment. Optimism helps people focus on specific triggers and they’ll know what to avoid if possible. Users will learn so many important things about themselves, and this will help them control their lives better.

Optimism features:
* Prompts users to keep a health record of all things that impact their mental state of being, both positive and negative. From there, it helps find strategies to stay healthy.

* Charting Changes – Optimism charts users’ triggers, symptoms and healthy activities to be able to identify relationships between the three in a simple, visual way.

* Reports – Optimism generates reports that document the triggers, symptoms and healthy activities so users can print records or helpful history to email to their health provider.

Optimism is quick and easy to use, only taking 2 to 3 minutes each day to enter data, and only a little bit longer to look more closely at the charts.

People, work on getting rid of (if not controlling) your depression, and stay mentally healthy. Try out this software and plan your health. Create a “Stay Well Plan,” which can be seen as a dynamic document that you adjust as you learn more about managing your illness. Print or email it to your health provider or aids, so they know how to help you stay on track.

Download the free demo now (for Mac)

NOTE: PC version should be released some time next month (February). I’ll post it when it’s available.