September 9th, 2008 cate
Think about why you are breaking up with this person. If you are simply upset with your partner, you should consider talking about what upset you and focus on resolving it, rather than ending the relationship. But if this same issue has already been discussed, yet nothing changes and you keep feeling unsatisfied, hurt, or betrayed, then breaking up might be the only way to end the pattern. Your partner will ask you why you want out, and you should be prepared with answers. Before having “the talk” that ends the relationship, do your best to articulate the reasons you are breaking up. If you have trouble remembering examples during emotional discussions or arguments, write your reasons down in advance. It may help to talk this over with someone you trust, or with a counselor.
Plan out how long you are willing to spend breaking up. The actual conversation in which you break up with this person can last a lot longer than it should, especially if your partner is devastated or completely surprised by your decision. It’ll be much easier for you to stick to your guns if the conversation doesn’t drag out. Expect to spend at least one hour breaking up, and longer if the relationship lasted a year or more. You may even want to arrange an appointment with a friend in a neutral location so that you can say “I’m supposed to meet John/Jane at the restaurant in fifteen minutes, so I have to go now.”
Break up in person. It is easier to break up with someone if you don’t have to look the person in the eye, but it can also be interpreted as cruel and cowardly. Unless you are a long distance away and choose not to wait until you see the person again, don’t break up by phone, e-mail, or through an instant messenger system. And don’t even think about breaking up with someone by pulling a disappearing act, even if it’s just by suddenly eliminating contact with the person. The lack of closure can be psychologically damaging.
If you don’t live together, break the news at his/her home and in private. They’ll want to feel safe enough to respond emotionally–no one wants to be broken up with in public or near family and friends, and risk bursting into tears, or be forced to bottle up all those emotions. While you can break up with them at your place, making someone go home after getting news like that will be difficult, and could make them more bitter. If you are at your partner’s home, you can leave after you feel you’ve made your decision clear.
If you live together, breaking-up will be particularly problematic and stressful; you should have a place where you can stay until the person you’ve broken up with digests the big change. You can either move all of your stuff while they’re not home and then break up when they come home and notice, or break up and leave with some of your things with the intention to come back when things have calmed down to get the rest of your belongings. Either way will be very difficult for the other person, but only you know what’s best for your situation.
Break up calmly. If you say the dreaded words “We need to talk”, your partner will immediately know what’s going on, and that’s not a bad thing. You don’t want to blurt out “We need to break up” out of the blue, or worse, when you’re in an argument. You need to approach the whole thing calmly and peacefully, with a sense of resolution. Sit down with your partner and let him or her know that you’ve decided to end the relationship.
Expect any or all of the following reactions.
Questioning — He or she will want to know why, and whether there was anything he or she could have done to prevent the breakup. Answer the questions as honestly as possible.
Crying — The other person will likely be upset, and it will show. You can comfort him or her, but don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into changing your decision.
Arguing — He or she may dispute anything you’ve said during the breakup, including examples you used in your reasons for breaking up. Don’t get dragged into a fight, and don’t split hairs. Let your partner know that arguing isn’t going to change your decision.
Bargaining or Begging — He or she may offer to change, or to do things differently in order to preserve the relationship. If the person didn’t change when you’ve discussed your problems in the past, it is too late to expect him or her to truly change now.
Lashing Out — Whether it’s as simple as saying “You’ll never find anyone as good as me” or as scary as saying “I’ll make you regret this”, he or she is usually just trying to make himself or herself feel better. Threats of physical harm, however, are serious and should not be ignored. If you feel that your safety is at risk, stay calm and leave quickly.
Distance yourself. It’ll be difficult, but don’t call them, don’t go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself. Do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, that you wouldn’t have done if you were still with this person. Now is the perfect time to focus on those missed opportunities. Your ex may try to get in touch, but wait a while (some people suggest six months) before resuming contact, if at all. You felt close to this person at one point in your life, and you will probably always have a soft spot for him or her, but it’s time for both of you to move on.
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August 11th, 2008 cate
Sorry to remind you about the fall and winter coming up but it’s a good time to plan how you’ll try to stay fit during the months when the weather is so horrible out, that you don’t (or can’t) get into your car to go to the gym.
My best solution for this situation so far is this Elliptical Trainer, which I absolute adore and if I didn’t have it, I’d gain approximately 30 pounds during those harsh, cold winter months where all you want to do is eat comfort food. This way, you can eat your comfort food but work it off. And remember, exercise is a great way to fight depression, that can sometimes creep in your life during these months. Just eliminate that whole SADD process. How awesome is that?
More about Elliptical Trainers
Elliptical trainers represent the next wave of advancement in low-impact cardiovascular exercise machines and continue to grow in popularity. By simulating motions experienced through walking, stepping, cycling, and skiing, elliptical machines allow for a smooth and fluid motion while building strength in the arms and legs. Similar to the exercise position for treadmills, elliptical trainers are used by standing in an upright position while holding the handrails of the machine. With elliptical trainers, however, your feet remain in the foot pedals throughout the exercise regimen and circulate in a smooth and seamless motion, resulting in little to no impact on the knees, back, and hips.
Elliptical trainers are compatible for all ages and fitness levels and allow you to select the difficulty level through the incline and intensity settings. Additionally, elliptical trainers allow you to determine the complexity of your workout based on your needs, all while listening to music, watching television, or reading a magazine while exercising in the comfort and safety of your own home.
Although different types of elliptical trainers offer an assortment of features, many of them include an array of challenging programs, forward and reverse directional movement, EKG grip pulse handles, a lightweight portable design with easy fold-up capability, and a monitor displaying calories burned, distance, speed, time, and heart rate. Other types of exercise machines, namely treadmills and bikes, offer excellent cardiovascular exercise and muscular training for the legs in a forward-motion exercise. Elliptical trainers take this to the next level by offering an upper and lower body workout with dual motion, challenging and diverse programs, and a low-impact exercise machine that won’t strain sensitive joints.
See photos and find out more about getting in shape
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June 11th, 2008 cate
Kindle – Happily say buh-bye to paper and give dad something where he can wirelessly download from more than 125,000 books, newspapers, magazines and blogs in less than a minute.
Reel Mower – The environmentally friendly Reel mower with a grass catcher provides a crisp, clean cut with a slicing action. Features 5 blade reel with ball bearings for smooth cutting; self-sharpening reels; adjustable bed knife.
Stainless Steel Klean Kanteen – a durable lightweight, toxin-free, non-leaching and dishwasher safe water bottle without the dangerous after-tastes left by many water bottles.
Wood Keyboard and Mouse – Because plastic sucks and is bad for the environment, get a beautiful bamboo keyboard for dad. It has the unique and warm touch feeling of bamboo, warm in winter, cool in summer.
Club Soda Fountain Jet – Make your own soda or seltzer at home in just seconds, wth no clean-up! No need to bother with lugging home heavy bottles and then having them go flat. With the Soda-Club Home Soda Maker, you’ll make your own great tasting seltzer or soda in a variety of flavors, anytime at your fingertips.
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March 29th, 2008 cate
From webmd:
“Whoever coined the term “necessary evil” might have been thinking of pain. No one wants it, yet it’s the body’s way of getting your attention when something is wrong. You’re probably sufficiently in tune with your body to know when the pain is just a bother, perhaps the result of moving furniture a day or two before or eating that third enchilada. It’s when pain might signal something more serious that the internal dialogue begins:
“OK, this isn’t something to fool around with.”
“But I can’t miss my meeting.”
“And how many meetings will you miss if you land in the hospital?”
“I’ll give it one more day.”
Etc.
You need a guide. WebMD consulted doctors in cardiology, internal medicine, geriatrics, and psychiatry so you’ll understand which pains you must not ignore — and why. And, of course, if in doubt, get medical attention.
No. 1: Worst Headache of Your Life
Get medical attention immediately. “If you have a cold, it could be a sinus headache,” says Sandra Fryhofer, MD, MACP, spokeswoman for the American College of Physicians. “But you could have a brain hemorrhage or brain tumor. With any pain, unless you’re sure of what caused it, get it checked out.”
Sharon Brangman, MD, FACP, spokeswoman for the American Geriatrics Society, tells WebMD that when someone says they have the worst headache of their life, “what we learned in medical training was that was a classic sign of a brain aneurysm. Go immediately to the ER.”
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February 13th, 2008 cate
Figs - A popular aphrodisiac with the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. These crunchy sweet yet soft luscious fruit are known to build up sexual stamina because of the high amino acid content.
Garlic – Probably best not to eat this just before your Valentine’s date. However, garlic contains allicin, which is an active ingredient that increases blood flow to both your sexual organs, resulting in a stronger erection in guys and better orgasms for guys and girls.
Damiana Tea for him – Damiana tea contains a South American herb that will stimulate his nether regions. with an active ingredient called gonzalitosin. This induces a feeling of mild euphoria and a tingling sensation in the penis. So what if your man doesn’t drink tea, tell him about this and he’ll be saying, “put the kettle on. right. now.”
Cinnamon for him - Cakes and buns with cinnamon will actually repel my sweetie because he HATES cinnamon but usually (for normal guys) the smell of cinnamon is one of the most arousing smells for men. I’ve heard that the smell arouses the guy and sends that much needed blood flow to the penis.
Coffee for her - I normally am so against coffee but once in a while might be good for your sex life! Scientists discovered that coffee boosts the female libido. This works best for girls that don’t drink coffee regularly. Yay me!
Chocolate - Lucky for us we LURRRRVE chocolate to bits! Forget the white or milk chocolate, and instead, head for the decadent, dark rich yummy bar with at least 70 percent cocoa solids. Cocoa contains phenylalanine, an amino acid that is known to boost arousal and enhances your mood.
St. John’s Wort – This herb really needs to be renamed because don’t most people NOT want to consume the wort of St. John? I don’t! Back to this herb. It’s commonly known to lift a sad mood, but did you know it can also do wonders for a lowly libido?
Gingseng - Ancient Asian secrets do not tell a lie. Gingseng enhances the libido now and has for more than 7,000 years. It gets blood flow to the genitals, as well as perking up your mental and physical energy.
Ginkgo Biloba for him - Taking Ginkgo Biloba will boost the blood flow enough to help maintain an erection, if you’ve been having issues with that.
Other aphrodisiacs: The following foods will get your body GOING: asparagus, cucumbers, onion, garlic, leeks, oysters, ginger, chives, scallion, black pepper, honey, cinnamon, avocado, cayenne pepper, carrots, cardamom, fennel, bananas, anise, horseradish and tumeric. Lastly, foods containing high concentrations of essential omega 3 fatty acids can boost your body’s sex drive.
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