“1. He makes snide jokes at your expense. Although boorish and rude, the occasional zinger isn’t an automatic ticket to the Abusers Hall of Fame.

But aiming poison barbs in your direction and then brushing it off – like “Can’t you take a joke?” – shows a lack of respect. “It’s a sign of emotional distancing, which can very quickly turn into abuse,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., (aka Dr. Gilda), an advice columnist on Match.com and author of He’s Not All That (Collins).

Emotional abuse can become physical with very little notice. Just ask Aimee, 41, of San Francisco, who was in an abusive relationship for eight years – while working at a battered women’s shelter! It was so subtle, says Aimee (whose name was changed to protect her privacy). “It went from unhealthy to pathological in such tiny increments that I accepted every little increment completely.”

By the time it crossed over into physical abuse, “I couldn’t name it. I was in absolute denial,” she says.

2. The relationship is on the fast track. He’s infatuated with you and is already talking commitment. But slow down. A light-speed lothario often has something to hide, says relationship therapist Joyce Morley-Ball, Ed.D. (aka Dr. Joyce).

If he’s quick to say “I love you” and soon makes plans for moving in, getting married and having a baby, he may be trying to lock up the relationship before you can see what he’s really about.

He knows you’re less likely to leave him after you get involved, she says.

3. Nothing is ever his fault. That speeding ticket? The cop had it in for him. The job he lost? The boss had a grudge against him. The promotion he didn’t get? The woman who did must have been sleeping with the boss. Maybe your guy has the worst luck ever. Or consider this: The man who never takes responsibility for any of his actions may be quick to blame you when he ultimately loses control of his temper – and his fists. “If you hadn’t done _____, I wouldn’t have hit you.”

If he can get you to believe it’s your fault, he’s off the hook in his mind. So take notice of his blame list – you could be next.

4. You’re always making excuses for his behavior. He’s tired. He had a hard week. He’s under a lot of pressure. He’s only like that when he’s had too much to drink. Sure, these excuses may explain the rare social gaffe and could, in fact, be true. But if you’re regularly trying to explain away rude, violent or disrespectful behavior, you could be emotionally abused.

“There’s this wall of denial that we put up when we’re in a relationship, and we all do it to some extent,” Sugg says. “But you shouldn’t have to explain away someone else’s behavior.”

It’s just like a slap in the face, she says. “How many of those slaps would you take?”

5. You bend over backward so he doesn’t get upset.
Are you walking on eggshells because of his hair-trigger temper that erupts for everything big (a blown deal) to small (his beer warm)?

See the other signs of abuse

“You know the feeling. You’re walking to the market, to the store, to meet a friend, all caught up in the plodding forward of your day…and then suddenly, you take notice of where you are. The light on a wall, the expressions on people’s faces, the feeling of the weather. A distinct sense of place creeps over you, and for a moment you feel like a traveler.

And yet sometimes, the desire (Overwhelming! Insatiable! Get me on a freaking bus to Belize!) for that novelty and spark of travel is overwhelming. Sometimes a sense of …” Continue reading

“So you lost your job. Now what? As an employee, you had a daily routine, health insurance coverage, and a regular paycheck. You liked the security—while it lasted. And if you sometimes daydreamed about the freedom of working for yourself, leaving a full-time job never seemed worth the risk.

But now, laid off into a recession and the worst job market in decades—2.6 million Americans lost jobs in 2008, with 524,000 eliminated in December alone—you may be thinking self-employment sounds like the best path out of unemployment. Rather than try to land one of the few open jobs out there, maybe you could work as a freelancer or consultant, at least until the job market recovers. You’re in good company: There were nearly 9 million self-employed workers in December, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. But if you’re among the thousands of unemployed now trying to go it alone, where do you start?

First, step back. Decide what your goals are and how freelancing will help you achieve them, says Pamela Slim, author of the Escape From Cubicle Nation blog and a forthcoming book of the same name. “It’s obviously very easy at the point of being laid off to really come from a position of fear and desperation,” she says. Thinking about long-term goals from the start will keep you grounded and help you determine how to proceed. Once you’re clear on your goals, Slim says, you should ask: “What are the specific skills, knowledge, money, resources, information, and contacts [you] need to bring that picture to life?”

Health Care

There are plenty of nuts-and-bolts concerns that can overwhelm first-time freelancers, especially those who suddenly lost steady jobs. Chief among them is health care. The health insurance system does not accommodate… “ continue reading

We’re just barely finishing the second week of the new year, and you’ve already gone off your workout. Have you given up completely? Will this be another new year’s resolution categorized as fail? Are you simply pushing forward the same ole resolution year after year because you can’t stick to the workout? Have I made you feel even worse than you already feel? Sorry ’bout that. I really don’t mean to do that because, in fact, I’m here to tell you that you probably gave up on your workout because it’s not the right workout. Really! It isn’t you; it’s the workout. Now, it’s time to figure out what will work for you.

Here’s an example: When I first started taking Tai Chi, I absolutely loved it (and still do) and knew I could stick to that for a long while. It is something that transcends me to another place, a place where I want to be day after day. It made sense in the deepest perspective and it was right for me. I took the class with my friend, Penny, who had the exact opposite reaction to it. She hated it so much, it was nearly torture. Actually, she’d remarked that she’d prefer torture to doing Tai Chi. She would rather have someone cut off her arm or stab her a million times or set her hair on fire than do Tai Chi. I was baffled. How could someone deeply hate something I deeply love so much?

But hey, I’m not one to dwell. I let it go. Tai Chi and Penny were not meant to be partners. End of discussion. And you should do the same if this happens to you. So, if you started your pilates or jazz dance or yoga or whatever you thought would help you keep a regular exercise regime and keep you fit and keep your weight at a manageable level – but gave up, don’t worry. You now need to find what’s best for you.

I don’t know what is best for you; only you and you alone know what is best for you. That said, if you try something and you cannot make a commitment to it, drop it! If you don’t find your “groove” or “flow” or “bliss,” forget about it. It’s as simple as that, BUT! don’t give up. Try other things until you find the right thing. Consider the following. If you can’t get into yoga or tai chi because you find it a little on the boring side or not active enough, try something like dance or aerobics or rock climbing or spinning or biking or hiking or skiing or surfing or soccer or swimming or basketball… Are you more of a mellow, steady and ready for mind and body challenges – kind of person? Maybe you will like martial arts, fencing, dancing the tango or ballroom dancing. Are you more of a social person? Try team sports, tennis, dance classes… You see where I’m going with this right?

There are LOTS of things to try, but it first helps to figure yourself out then go from there. If you get too bored running, obviously, don’t do that activity. If you love nature and being outdoors because it makes you feel more connected to the universe, by all means, partake in activities that involve nature. If you need to be alone have an intense workout incorporating mind, body and spirit, you will most likely be well matched with yoga, tai chi; maybe the Wii Fit is a good fit for you? The most important thing is to NOT give up.

The innovative Fellowes SB-87CS with Safe Sense Technology features an active sensor that stops shredding immediately when paper entry is touched. Designed for frequent shredding needs, the Fellowes Powershred SB-87CS delivers a high level of performance that’s ideal for small business or home office use. This heavy-duty personal shredder reduces documents to higher security confetti particles, and shreds up to 15 sheets per pass, 50-100 times per day, for a total daily capacity as high as 1,500 sheets. Equipped with a 9-inch wide front feed paper entry, the SB-87CS easily accepts standard letter or legal-size documents. SB87CS shreds CDs in a designated safety slot and the durable steel cutters also accept credit cards, staples and small paper clips. Electronic auto start/stop ensures quick & easy automatic shredder operation. Shredder automatically shuts off and alerts operator when a jam occurs, door is ajar or 7-gallon pullout wastebasket is full. Sheet capacity gauge helps prevent paper jams. Door offers convenient holder for oil, manual and shredder bags. Cabinet-style stand includes casters for portable ease.

Note: You can also throw this into your kitty’s litter box for extra absorption.

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In this lively collection from an array of accomplished writers, readers meet an old woman who imparts an invaluable midnight message on a Greek island; brothers who heal old family wounds in Ireland; and travelers who awaken to the mystery of their souls in such disparate places as St. Peter’s in Rome and a dusty road in India. Contributors include Phil Cousineau, Kim Chernin, David Yeadon, Don George, and Jan Morris. The Spiritual Gifts of Travel reveals the myriad ways that travel renews the spirit. “The tales ring clear and loud with the universal need to travel the road toward self.”

Read more about: The Spiritual Gifts of Travel: The Best of Travelers’ Tales

“Do you have trouble getting things done? Have you ever decided to do something that was important to you, but later found you just weren’t making any headway at all? If you’re having trouble completing tasks that you want to do, and which you know you’re capable of doing, you might considering using a technique called benchmarking.

A benchmark is nothing more than a certain level of output that you’re establishing as your bare minimum. When using benchmarking, what you want to do is decide what your daily benchmark will be for a particular task, and accept nothing less than hitting that benchmark consistently.

For a benchmark to be realistic, it should be well below the maximum that you’re capable of, and substantially less than what you really want to do. You want to have an idea of what you’d ideally like to accomplish each day, but if you fail to hit your targets, you want to be sure that you at least achieve a certain minimum standard. Shoot for your goal, but accept no less than your benchmark.

An Example of Using Benchmarks
Let’s say you have a book that you’ve been meaning to read. You know it’s a book that will be very helpful, so you really want to read it in a reasonable period of time. But it’s a really big book and it requires a lot of concentration to fully understand it, so you’ve been procrastinating, hoping that you’ll find the time to read it someday. Of course, that day never comes, and the book continues to collect dust every day. How can you use benchmarking to ensure that you stop making excuses and actually read the book?

First, decide what your goal will be, how many pages you would like to read each day. How about 100 pages? No, that’s too much because it’s a fantasy. You might read that much on the first sitting, but you know the book’s material is too complex and you won’t make the time to read that much consistently. How about 20 pages? OK, you decide that you can shoot for 20 pages a day. That’s your goal.

But it’s OK if you don’t always reach your goal. Sometimes, life gets in the way. Even though you’ll try to read 20 pages a day, some days you might not have the time or the energy to hit your goal. And that’s fine; you’re allowed to sometimes fall short of what you’d like to get done. But you decide to set a benchmark of reading 5 pages a day. No matter what, you’re going to read a minimum of 5 pages a day, every day, without fail.

That means that even if the kids have soccer practice, or you get a flat tire, or you get sick, or you have a huge argument with your boss, or whatever, you still have to read those 5 pages. Your benchmark of 5 pages is considerably less than your goal of 20 pages, but that’s because things are bound to come up once in a while, and you’ll need to have some flexibility to slow down. You’re still shooting for your goal each day, but you’ll accept no less than your benchmark, no matter what.

Read the rest

The book has quite a bit going for it:

1. Beautifully made, illustrated and laid-out, this book is meant to last and be used readily and often. Typical Dorling Kindersley quality.

2. An eye-friendly typeface and bright, semi-gloss pages make this easy reading.

3. The shear breadth of the information here is outstanding. Packed into 306 letter-sized pages are the following chapters:
*The Meaning of Self-Sufficiency
*Food from the Garden
*Food from Animals
*Food from the Fields
*Food from the Wild
*In the Dairy
*In the Kitchen
*Brewing & Wine-making
*Energy & Waste
*Crafts & Skills
*Things You Need to Know

4. Good specifics on all the categories of info listed above. You should be able to get started on your way to being people of the soil. Need to know how to kill, gut, and prepare your cattle? It’s in here. Got a hankering to get off the electrical grid altogether? Helpful windmill buying advice is here. Can’t tell rye from barley? You will after reading this book.

5. A helpful list of contacts and companies that can get you started on your dream are included.

This is a fine primer on self-sufficiency. Anyone looking to escape the rat race could hardly do better than to pick up a copy of “The Self-Sufficient Life and How to Live It.”

[source: amazon]

Get it now

My best solution for this situation so far is this Elliptical Trainer, which I absolute adore and if I didn’t have it, I’d gain approximately 30 pounds during those harsh, cold winter months where all you want to do is eat comfort food. This way, you can eat your comfort food but work it off. And remember, exercise is a great way to fight depression, that can sometimes creep in your life during these months. Just eliminate that whole SADD process. How awesome is that?

More about Elliptical Trainers
Elliptical trainers represent the next wave of advancement in low-impact cardiovascular exercise machines and continue to grow in popularity. By simulating motions experienced through walking, stepping, cycling, and skiing, elliptical machines allow for a smooth and fluid motion while building strength in the arms and legs. Similar to the exercise position for treadmills, elliptical trainers are used by standing in an upright position while holding the handrails of the machine. With elliptical trainers, however, your feet remain in the foot pedals throughout the exercise regimen and circulate in a smooth and seamless motion, resulting in little to no impact on the knees, back, and hips.

Elliptical trainers are compatible for all ages and fitness levels and allow you to select the difficulty level through the incline and intensity settings. Additionally, elliptical trainers allow you to determine the complexity of your workout based on your needs, all while listening to music, watching television, or reading a magazine while exercising in the comfort and safety of your own home.

Although different types of elliptical trainers offer an assortment of features, many of them include an array of challenging programs, forward and reverse directional movement, EKG grip pulse handles, a lightweight portable design with easy fold-up capability, and a monitor displaying calories burned, distance, speed, time, and heart rate. Other types of exercise machines, namely treadmills and bikes, offer excellent cardiovascular exercise and muscular training for the legs in a forward-motion exercise. Elliptical trainers take this to the next level by offering an upper and lower body workout with dual motion, challenging and diverse programs, and a low-impact exercise machine that won’t strain sensitive joints.

See photos and find out more about getting in shape

Why take part in a Drumming Circle?
Drumming is a vehicle to express as well as to feel. It is exercise, nurturing, social support, bonding and spirituality, to intellectual stimulation, heightened understanding and enhanced capacity to cope with life’s challenges, the benefits of recreational music-making extend far beyond music. This type of music making ultimately affords unparalleled creative expression that unites and heals our bodies, minds and spirits.

Start Your Own Drumming Circle
World-renowned author offers tips to run a successful drum circle. As the popularity for drum circles continues to grow, the need for facilitators increases as well. Written by the foremost authority in this field, Arthur Hull offers his insights, plans and practical strategies to become a facilitator – regardless of your musical background or expertise. This can be used by social workers, store owners, human resource managers, church leaders, camp leaders, nursing home activity coordinators – for anyone who wants to unify a group that will enjoy the benefits of participating in this simple activity. It’s about leadership and communication. The book covers dozens of exercises, instrument suggestions, facilitator’s shorthand, interviews with successful facilitators, and even marketing tips on how to promote and expand your events. This is the complete rhythm event facilitation handbook from the expert.

Start a Drumming Circle Now

“Digging into retirement accounts before retiring is a big no-no. Americans should heed two methods to safeguard savings: set aside a liquid cushion and buy disability insurance.

Concerned about being laid off this year? Hey, it’s a legitimate worry. David Wyss, chief economist for Standard & Poor’s, believes as many as 750,000 Americans will lose their jobs in 2008. That’s why financial planners always advise keeping at least six months’ worth of expenses in a liquid account, like a money-market—advice astonishingly few Americans take. Have you ever worried about becoming disabled? Surprisingly, few Americans have disability insurance either, another huge concern.

Nearly 1 in 5 Americans will become disabled for one year or more before the age of 65, according to the Life Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping consumers make smart financial decisions. The number of workers who become disabled has risen by 35% since 2000, according to the Social Security Administration.

Because more Americans know of someone who has been affected by a disability, there is increasing concern about this issue. In fact, a recent survey by Berkshire Life Insurance found that 25% of Americans are worried about losing their jobs within the next six to 12 months because of weakening economic conditions, while 28% are concerned about losing their income because of an accident or illness that would make them unable to work.

The study also revealed that 41% of employees with 401(k) or similar retirement accounts would be willing to borrow from such accounts to cover lost income.

“Taking money from your retirement accounts before you retire is like robbing yourself to pay yourself,” says Larry Hazzard, a senior vice-president at Berkshire Life. “It’s generally not a good idea to stop contributions to your retirement accounts because you….” RRead the rest

Planet Earth

The premiere episode, “From Pole to Pole,” serves as a primer for things to come, placing the entire series in proper context and giving a general overview of what to expect from each individual episode. Without being overtly political, the series maintains a consistent and subtle emphasis on the urgent need for ongoing conservation, best illustrated by the plight of polar bears whose very behavior is changing (to accommodate life-threatening changes in their fast-melting habitat) in the wake of global warming–a phenomenon that this series appropriately presents as scientific fact.

With this harsh reality as subtext, the series proceeds to accentuate the positive, delivering a seemingly endless variety of natural wonders, from the spectacular mating displays of New Guinea’s various birds of paradise to a rare encounter with Siberia’s nearly-extinct Amur Leopards, of which only 30 remain in the wild.

With so many of Earth’s natural wonders on display, it’s only fitting that the final DVD in this 5-disc set is devoted to Planet Earth: The Future, a separate 3-part series in which a global array of experts is assembled to discuss issues of conservation, protection of delicate ecosystems, and the socio-economic benefits of understanding nature as a commodity that returns trillions of dollars in value at no cost to Earth’s human population.

At a time when the multiple threats of global warming should be obvious to all, let’s give Sir David the last word, from the closing of Planet Earth’s final episode: “We can now destroy or we can cherish–the choice is ours.”

Get Planet Earth now

From rd:

“When you think “millionaire,” what image comes to mind? For many of us, it’s a flashy Wall Street banker type who flies a private jet, collects cars and lives the kind of decadent lifestyle that would make Donald Trump proud.

But many modern millionaires live in middle-class neighborhoods, work full-time and shop in discount stores like the rest of us. What motivates them isn’t material possessions but the choices that money can bring: “For the rich, it’s not about getting more stuff. It’s about having the freedom to make almost any decision you want,” says T. Harv Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. Wealth means you can send your child to any school or quit a job you don’t like.
According to the Spectrem Wealth Study, an annual survey of America’s wealthy, there are more people living the good life than ever before—the number of millionaires nearly doubled in the last decade. And the rich are getting richer. To make it onto the Forbes 400 list of the richest Americans, a mere billionaire no longer makes the cut. This year you needed a net worth of at least $1.3 billion.

If more people are getting richer than ever, why shouldn’t you be one of them? Here, five people who have at least a million dollars in liquid assets share the secrets that helped them get there.

Set your sights on where you’re going
Twenty years ago, Jeff Harris hardly seemed on the road to wealth. He was a college dropout who struggled to support his wife, DeAnn, and three kids, working as a grocery store clerk and at a junkyard where he melted scrap metal alongside convicts. “At times we were so broke that we washed our clothes in the bathtub because we couldn’t afford the Laundromat.” Now he’s a 49-year-old investment advisor and multimillionaire in York, South Carolina.

There was one big reason Jeff pulled ahead of the pack: He always knew he’d be rich. The reality is that 80 percent of Americans worth at least $5 million grew up in middle-class or lesser households, just like Jeff.

Wanting to be wealthy is a crucial first step. Says Eker, “The biggest obstacle to wealth is fear. People are afraid to think big, but if you think small, you’ll only achieve small things.”

It all started for Jeff when he met a stockbroker at a Christmas party. “Talking to him, it felt like discovering fire,” he says. “I started reading books about investing during my breaks at the grocery store, and I began putting $25 a month in a mutual fund.” Next he taught a class at a local community college on investing. His students became his first clients, which led to his investment practice. “There were lots of struggles,” says Jeff, “but what got me through it was believing with all my heart that I would succeed.”

Educate yourself
When Steve Maxwell graduated from college, he had an engineering degree and a high-tech job—but he couldn’t balance his checkbook. “I took one finance class in college but dropped it to go on a ski trip,” says the 45-year-old father of three, who lives in Windsor, Colorado. “I actually had to go to my bank and ask them to teach me how to read my statement.”

One of the biggest obstacles to making money is not understanding it: Thousands of us avoid investing because we just don’t get it. But to make money, you must be financially literate. “It bothered me that I didn’t understand this stuff,” says Steve, “so I read books and magazines about money management and investing, and I asked every financial whiz I knew to explain things to me.”

He and his wife started applying the lessons: They made a point to live below their means. They never bought on impulse, always negotiated better deals (on their cars, cable bills, furniture) and stayed in their home long after they could afford a more expensive one. They also put 20 percent of their annual salary into investments.

Within ten years, they were millionaires, and people were coming to Steve for advice. “Someone would say, ‘I need to refinance my house—what should I do?’ A lot of times, I wouldn’t know the answer, but I’d go find it and learn something in the process,” he says.

In 2003, Steve quit his job to become part owner of a company that holds personal finance seminars for employees of corporations like Wal-Mart. He also started going to real estate investment seminars, and it’s paid off: He now owns $30 million worth of investment properties, including apartment complexes, a shopping mall and a quarry.

“I was an engineer who never thought this life was possible, but all it truly takes is a little self-education,” says Steve. “You can do anything once you understand the basics.”

Passion pays off
In 1995, Jill Blashack Strahan and her husband were barely making ends meet. Like so many of us, Jill was eager to discover her purpose, so she splurged on a session with a life coach. “When I told her my goal was to make $30,000 a year, she said I was setting the bar too low. I needed to focus on my passion, not on the paycheck.”

Jill, who lives with her son in Alexandria, Minnesota, owned a gift basket company and earned just $15,000 a year. She noticed when she let potential buyers taste the food items, the baskets sold like crazy. Jill thought, Why not sell the food directly to customers in a fun setting?
With $6,000 in savings, a bank loan and a friend’s investment, Jill started packaging gourmet foods in a backyard shed and selling them at taste-testing parties. It wasn’t easy. “I remember sitting outside one day, thinking we were three months behind on our house payment, I had two employees I couldn’t pay, and I ought to get a real job. But then I thought, No, this is your dream. Recommit and get to work.”

She stuck with it, even after her husband died three years later. “I live by the law of abundance, meaning that even when there are challenges in life, I look for the win-win,” she says.

The positive attitude worked: Jill’s backyard company, Tastefully Simple, is now a direct-sales business, with $120 million in sales last year. And Jill was named one of the top 25 female business owners in North America by Fast Company magazine.

According to research by Thomas J. Stanley, author of The Millionaire Mind, over 80 percent of millionaires say they never would have been successful if their vocation wasn’t something they cared about.

Grow your money
Most of us know the never-ending cycle of living paycheck to paycheck. “The fastest way to get out of that pattern is to make extra money for the specific purpose of reinvesting in yourself,” says Loral Langemeier, author of The Millionaire Maker. In other words, earmark some money for the sole purpose of investing it in a place where it will grow dramatically—like a business or real estate.

There are endless ways to make extra money for investing—you just have to be willing to do the work. “Everyone has a marketable skill,” says Langemeier. “When I started out, I had a tutoring business, seeing clients in the morning before work and on my lunch break.”

A little moonlighting cash really can grow into a million. Twenty-five years ago, Rick Sikorski dreamed of owning a personal training business. “I rented a tiny studio where I charged $15 an hour,” he says. When money started trickling in, he squirreled it away instead of spending it, putting it all back into the business. Rick’s 400-square-foot studio is now Fitness Together, a franchise based in Highlands Ranch, Colorado, with more than 360 locations worldwide. And he’s worth over $40 million.

When extra money rolls in, it’s easy to think, Now I can buy that new TV. But if you want to get rich, you need to pay yourself first, by putting money where it will work hard for you—whether that’s in your retirement fund, a side business or investments like real estate.

No guts, no glory
Last summer, Dave Lindahl footed the bill for 18 relatives at a fancy mansion in the Adirondacks. One night, his dad looked out at the scenery and joked, “I can’t believe we used to call you the black sheep!”

At 29, Dave was broke, living in a small apartment near Boston and wondering what to do after ten years in a local rock band. “I looked around and thought, If I don’t do something, I’ll be stuck here forever.”

He started a landscape company, buying his equipment on credit. When business literally froze over that winter, a banker friend asked if he’d like to renovate a foreclosed home. “I’m a terrible carpenter, but I needed the money, so I went to some free seminars at Home Depot and figured it out as I went,” he says.

After a few more renovations, it occurred to him: Why not buy the homes and sell them for profit? He took a risk and bought his first property. Using the proceeds, he bought another, and another. Twelve years later, he owns apartment buildings, worth $143 million, in eight states.

The Biggest Secret? Stop spending.
Every millionaire we spoke to has one thing in common: Not a single one spends needlessly. Real estate investor Dave Lindahl drives a Ford Explorer and says his middle-class neighbors would be shocked to learn how much he’s worth. Fitness mogul Rick Sikorski can’t fathom why anyone would buy bottled water. Steve Maxwell, the finance teacher, looked at a $1.5 million home but decided to buy one for half the price because “a house with double the cost wouldn’t give me double the enjoyment.”

It’s not a fluke: According to the 2007 Annual Survey of Affluence & Wealth in America, some of the richest people “spend their money with a middle-class mind-set.” They clip coupons, wait for sales and buy luxury items at a discount.

No kidding! Talk show host Tyra Banks calls herself the Queen of Cheap and keeps perfume samples from magazine ads in her purse for quick touch-ups.

Sara Blakely, founder of the $100 million shapewear company Spanx, gets her hair trimmed at Supercuts.

And Warren Buffett, the third richest person in the world, according to Forbes, lives in the same Omaha, Nebraska, home he bought four decades ago for $31,500.”

^[source]

For example, you hang out with, lets call this friend Patrisha, and while she is smart and fun and everything, there have been just too many instances where she just pisses you off. This happens over and over during the course of your friendship. She upsets you because she does selfish things that just caters to her own needs. Say, you’re out at a park with her and you both meet some very sweet, cute guys. For some bizarre reason, she dominates the conversation always and she makes sure you don’t get to spend more time with the guy you’re interested in, and who’s trying to get to know you better. She basically sabotages your opportunity to explore this new friendship with him because…who knows why.

She is, in fact, not interested in him; she simply doesn’t want you to see him.

Say also, for instance, that she meets some people who have the same interests as you do. She talks incessantly about them and when you ask if you can contact them because they seem to be in “your world,” she ignores you and avoids subjects where you will get to have contact with them.

Each time she does something that upsets you, you fluff it off and try to forget about it, but without a doubt, it happens again and again. You want to like her but she makes it so difficult to feel positive about her.

Yes. We’ve all met people like this. They are simply SELFISH opportunists. I’m not going to get into why that type of person is the way they are; that is futile.

The question is: why do you want to hang out with this kind of person?

The ole cliche goes, “Life’s too short….” right? I agree. It is. While some people will find forgiveness in their hearts over and over again, I tend to prefer to walk away from that situation. That is perfectly OK to do. Really. Otherwise, it causes unnecessary hurt and stress. Why would you continually subject yourself to this destructive element in your life. It’s not worth it. It will only manifest in illness. Just walk away and learn from the situation.

You should surround yourself with loving, TRUE friends. You deserve to be around good people so don’t feel badly if you must say goodbye to this “friend.” Life IS too short to waste on serial selfish people.

When she was a child, people thought Lorna was retarded because she did not seem to be focussing on the world around her. Lorna remembers seeing not just the world around her but seeing equally vividly angels and spirits. For many years she assumed everyone saw the same.

As Lorna tells the story of her life, growing up in a poor family, later working in Dublin, marrying and experiencing family tragedy, the reader meets, as she did, the creatures from the spirit worlds who also inhabit our own – mostly angels of an astonishing beauty and variety – including the prophet Elijah and an Archangel- but also the spirits of people who have died.

Today, it is not only the sick and troubled who come to visit Lorna, looking for healing and consolation, but theologians of different faiths and the head of a religious order in Rome are asking her for guidance too.

This remarkable document is the testimony of a woman who sees things at the far end of the spectrum, beyond the range of our everyday experience.

More about Angels in my Hair

“Angry people are different from other people. They are not just an inch or two along some curve. Instead, there’s a gap in the curve, a vertical chasm, separating the angry from everyone else.

You may encounter angry prospects (angry before you even got there) or angry customers or angry regulators or even angry employees. They’re similar to each other but different from the rest of us.

It’s tempting to treat an angry person just like a typical person, just… angrier. This is probably a mistake, because anger brings its own reality along with it. An angry customer isn’t just a little less valuable than a non-angry customer. In fact, she’s on a curve all her own.

I have two suggestions for dealing with angry folks:

Sometimes, you can just avoid them. You can choose not to work with angry people. Just move on. There are plenty of non-angry people out there.
You can acknowledge the anger and understand that until you make the anger go away, all responses are going to be off the charts and completely useless to you. The opportunity in working with an angry person is that you can somehow turn that angry person into a non-angry one… and from there, move them up the curve to a relationship you both value. The mistake marketers make all the time is that we believe that moving the person up the curve is the next step. It’s not. No one moves while they’re angry.
“I’m never coming back to this restaurant again!” is angry.
“Our special next week is lasagna…” isn’t going to do the trick as a response.

“I’m angry that my candidate didn’t win the primary,”
so, “Consider my health plan,” isn’t going to work.

“You cancelled my flight!” is angry, thus…
“That’s our policy sir, read the ticket,” is obviously a lousy marketing ploy.”

1. Change yourself.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.

And the problem with changing your outer world without changing yourself is that you will still be you when you reach that change you have strived for. You will still have your flaws, anger, negativity, self-sabotaging tendencies etc. intact.

And so in this new situation you will still not find what you hoped for since your mind is still seeping with that negative stuff. And if you get more without having some insight into and distance from your ego it may grow more powerful. Since your ego loves to divide things, to find enemies and to create separation it may start to try to create even more problems and conflicts in your life and world.

2. You are in control.

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

What you feel and how you react to something is always up to you. There may be a “normal” or a common way to react to different things. But that’s mostly just all it is.

You can choose your own thoughts, reactions and emotions to pretty much everything. You don’t have to freak out, overreact of even react in a negative way. Perhaps not every time or instantly. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction just goes off. Or an old thought habit kicks in.

And as you realize that no-one outside of yourself can actually control how you feel you can start to incorporate this thinking into your daily life and develop it as a thought habit. A habit that you can grow stronger and stronger over time. Doing this makes life a whole lot easier and more pleasurable.

3. Forgive and let it go.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

Fighting evil with evil won’t help anyone. And as said in the previous tip, you always choose how to react to something. When you can incorporate such a thought habit more and more into your life then you can react in a way that is more useful to you and others.

You realize that forgiving and letting go of the past will do you and the people in your world a great service. And spending your time in some negative memory won’t help you after you have learned the lessons you can learn from that experience. You’ll probably just cause yourself more suffering and paralyze yourself from taking action in this present moment.

If you don’t forgive then you let the past and another person to control how you feel. By forgiving you release yourself from those bonds. And then you can focus totally on, for instance, the next point.

4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

Without taking action very little will be done. However, taking action can be hard and difficult. There can be much inner resistance.

And so you may resort to preaching, as Gandhi says. Or reading and studying endlessly. And feeling like you are moving forward. But getting little or no practical results in real life.

So, to really get where you want to go and to really understand yourself and your world you need to practice. Books can mostly just bring you knowledge. You have to take action and translate that knowledge into results and understanding.

You can check out a few effective tips to overcome this problem in How to Take More Action: 9 Powerful Tips. Or you can move on to the next point for more on the best tip for taking more action that I have found so far.

5. Take care of this moment.

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

The best way that I have found to overcome the inner resistance that often stops us from taking action is to stay in the present as much as possible and to be accepting.

Why? Well, when you are in the present moment you don’t worry about the next moment that you can’t control anyway. And the resistance to action that comes from you imagining negative future consequences – or reflecting on past failures – of your actions loses its power. And so it becomes easier to both take action and to keep your focus on this moment and perform better.

Have a look at 8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment for tips on how quickly step into the now. And remember that reconnecting with and staying in the now is a mental habit – a sort of muscle – that you grow. Over time it becomes more powerful and makes it easier to slip into the present moment.

6. Everyone is…

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Now’s your chance to inspire the world and make the planet a greener place.

Are you under 18 and thinking green? Show us what you’re doing to be a part of the Whole Earth Generation. Are you recycling at your school? Planting trees? Forcing your parents to go green? Get in front of the camera and tell us about it.

Sing a song, rap, shoot a documentary, whatever – just send us a short video response showing how you’re making a difference. If we pick yours it’ll be featured leading up to Earth Day. You might even get to co-host one of our Whole Earth Generation Podcasts sponsored by Whole Foods.

Whole Earth Generation Details:
* Keep your video under two minutes.
* Be original and express your green self – we just want to see you being you.
* Keep it clean. No violence, profanity or direct attacks on individuals.
* Your video must be original and cannot infringe on any third party rights.
* Your video cannot have been previously published, broadcast, or otherwise publicly distributed.
* Winners will become “Green Ambassadors” and be featured as hosts in upcoming Whole Earth Generation podcasts.
* Make sure you follow YouTube’s Terms Of Service: http://www.youtube.com/t/terms

How to submit your video:
* Log in to YouTube. If you don’t have an account already, it’s easy and only takes a minute or so.
* Go to the YouTube video where our host is introducing the contest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpGoOwRC1uU
* Under “Comments and Responses” click on “Post a video response”.
* If you haven’t uploaded the video you’d like to submit for the contest to YouTube yet, do so by going to “Upload a Video”.
* If you have uploaded the video already, select it by going to “Choose a Video”.

OFFICIAL RULES
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY

ELIGIBILITY
Contestants must be between 8 years and 17 years of age and a legal resident of the 50 United States, the District of Columbia or Canada at the time of their audition to be eligible. All submissions become the property of the Sponsor and will not be returned. Officers and employees of Whole Foods Market, their respective affiliates, subsidiaries and agents, and the immediate family members of the foregoing, are not eligible to enter. Sponsor is not responsible for late, lost, destroyed or misdirected entries. Odds of winning will depend on the total number of eligible entries received. Each entry must be submitted with a Submission Agreement to be eligible.

Full rules and regulations:

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/weg_rules.html

To see a video about what you need to do to enter the contest, click here.

When the economy takes a hard hit like this, companies downsize, which might make your job position vulnerable. Anne Fisher, over at Fortune Magazine has written an article called, “8 ways to recession-proof your job.”

It might be a good thing to secure your job position but it will also be wise to have a Plan B.

Article

Here’s another article: How to protect yourself in a recession.

Others will spend today watching depressing movies, perhaps love stories with the most sad endings ever imagined by some wicked French film maker that can’t resist concluding a film with everyone dying at the end, or at least one person jumping out the window.

Anyway. Don’t do that. If you’re date-less today, gather some of your other solo Valentines and watch happy romantic comedy movies together. That way, you’ll feel good and it’ll give you some hope that there IS hope! In any case, just have a fun, lighthearted day today and you won’t feel the need to eat crazy fattening foods.

Here are some happy love story movies (romantic comedies mostly) suggestions:

1. Death at a Funeral
2. Rushmore
3. Shakespeare in Love
4. Annie Hall
5. Serendipity
6. French Kiss
7. The Wedding Singer
8. Roxanne
9. Meet the Parents
10. Splash
11. Much Ado About Nothing
12. Reality Bites
13. Amelie
14. Moonstruck
15. Shall We Dance?
16. Notting Hill
17. Sleepless in Seattle
18. Muriel’s Wedding
19. So I Married an Axe Murderer
20. Music and Lyrics

When people have mental health issues, particularly with depression, it takes a huge effort to get better and recover, but the greatest challenge remains in trying to stay well from that point on.

With Optimism software, users actively learn about their depression. They monitor patterns in their life and begin to see the various internal and external factors that affect their health. Once these factors are realized, it makes it easier to take control and leave depression far behind them. Users will no doubt learn a great deal about what really triggers depression. Maybe it’s a certain food or lack of sleep. Perhaps it’s from watching disturbing films or from a stressful work environment. Optimism helps people focus on specific triggers and they’ll know what to avoid if possible. Users will learn so many important things about themselves, and this will help them control their lives better.

Optimism features:
* Prompts users to keep a health record of all things that impact their mental state of being, both positive and negative. From there, it helps find strategies to stay healthy.

* Charting Changes – Optimism charts users’ triggers, symptoms and healthy activities to be able to identify relationships between the three in a simple, visual way.

* Reports – Optimism generates reports that document the triggers, symptoms and healthy activities so users can print records or helpful history to email to their health provider.

Optimism is quick and easy to use, only taking 2 to 3 minutes each day to enter data, and only a little bit longer to look more closely at the charts.

People, work on getting rid of (if not controlling) your depression, and stay mentally healthy. Try out this software and plan your health. Create a “Stay Well Plan,” which can be seen as a dynamic document that you adjust as you learn more about managing your illness. Print or email it to your health provider or aids, so they know how to help you stay on track.

Download the free demo now (for Mac)

NOTE: PC version should be released some time next month (February). I’ll post it when it’s available.

1. Be present – I don’t just mean be there in attendance, I mean make yourself fully present in a mindful way. A “present” state of mind will mean that you are focused on the now. You are committed to the present moment and that means that when you’re interacting with people, you are more absorbed in what they are saying right now. You need to be present to be a good manager or employee. You give meaning and purpose to those around you. In business, if you are “present” you will usually get what you need. If you aren’t present, you miss your task or you miss what someone is saying – and those things could be very important.

2. Give full attention to your activities – This is also a state of mindfulness. Concentrating on tasks gives meaning to that task. It helps you get your task done in an efficient way because you are focused on it, even on the smallest task – This activity requires very focused attention and when you are mindful of your concentration to your work, you cannot be more efficient with your task. This ends up with the best work you can offer.

3. Make sure your state of mind is optimal before entering a meeting – This point is very important. How can you assess your state of mind? Before your meeting, go to a quiet place so you can determine your state of mind. You need to be aware of what is happening and how you feel; you need to be in a state of mind where your emotions are calm and positive. You should be in a positive state but if you’re not, try to divert your negative feelings and thoughts aside by focusing your thoughts on happy, wonderful things. Words are powerful, so say to yourself, “I am calm, positive and will have an efficient, productive meeting.”

4. Be aware of your relationships with colleagues – Say, for instance, you are a manager and you don’t get along with your employee. Figure out why, and try to change it to a more positive relationship. Once you can see possibilities of problematic issues between the two of you, you can go from there. If you are mindful, you will realize the weaknesses, the conflicts and the differences in personalities. These things shouldn’t prevent you from having a decent relationship. When you are mindful and fully aware of all aspects involved in employee/manager relationships, you can work it out so that you have the relationship that is necessary to have an efficient and happy office environment. Listen to your colleagues and employees and be in the present. Give them value and value what they have to offer. Try to understand where they’re coming from. The results of this behavior will astound you.

5. Laugh – Try not to take yourself so seriously. Have fun when you can. While laughing and goofing around may not be appropriate for some circumstances, at the right moments, it’s the best thing an office can have for morale.

6. Know Yourself – Knowing yourself helps you to make the right choices about how you respond to people and situations.

All know the Way, but few actually walk it.

If you don’t find a teacher soon, you’ll live this life in vain. It’s true, you have the buddha-nature. But without the help of a teacher you’ll never know it. Only one person in a million becomes enlightened without a teacher’s help.

If, though, by the conjunction of conditions, someone understands what the Buddha meant, that person doesn’t need a teacher. Such a person has a natural awareness superior to anything taught. But unless you’re so blessed, study hard, and by means of instruction you’ll understand.

About Bodhidharma
Bodhidharma was born in Kanchi in the Southern Indian kingdom of Pallava around year 440. At the instruction of Prajnatara he travelled to China by ship and arrived around 475. He is associated with the Shaolin temple, and is honored as the founder of kung fu. He is also credited with bringing tea to China. He is said to have cut off his eyelids to stay awake in meditiation, and so is usually depicted with bulging eyes. He is also credited with bringing Zen to China, even though he had few disciples in his lifetime.

Mind Training, The Great Collection (Library of Tibetan Classics) is an English adaptation of the first anthology of techniques for cultivating altruistic thoughts and coping with the inevitable challenges of everyday life. Presenting 44 of the original texts — including seminal works such as “Leveling out All Preconceptions” and “Eight Verses on Training the Mind” — Mind Training combines eloquent translations and historical commentaries to demonstrate how anyone can learn to exude love, compassion, and perseverance.

Click here for more information

If you simply take time to be aware of breathing in and breathing out, a wonderful thing happens: You stop thinking, particularly about all the chaos that is swimming around in your head. Whether you’re thinking about what you have to do or what you will do, or what someone said or did to you, etc. you have a tendency to lose yourself. You get a bit lost in the outside world. What that mean is if you are conscious of your breathing, you forget about the superficial, and then focus on the Now. You are living in the present moment and that is very important.

When you are not living in the present moment, you are either living in the future or the past and when you are in those places, you can not see clearly or deeply. You miss everything because you are not “here” in the Present. When you concentrate on breathing in and breathing out, you begin to be where your body is in the present moment. The body and mind are no longer separated from each other. When your mind and body are unified, you begin feel calm, relaxed, composed and aware; you’re on your way to becoming truly yourself.

1. When you find yourself having a terribly negative attitude leading to grumpville, slap yourself with a large trout. (figuratively speaking, of course) Just stop yourself. It’s you who has control over your emotions. If you cannot control your own emotions, seek professional help.

2. During these times of unpleasant thoughts, try to examine WHY you feel that way. What is the evidence and proof that you should be able to feel this way. If you can find vast reasons to substantiate your negative feelings and attitudes, try to beckon your compassion. Try to laugh. Try to smile and even force yourself to think the opposite. How? Just understanding you’ll feel better, should be a great incentive.

3. When jumping into negative attitudes, try to conjure up different scenarios for why something is happening. Try to envision that all is happening for a better future outcome. Imagine that things will get better. Example: You break your leg on the ski slope. No one is immediately around to help you so help is delayed. Don’t jump into the conclusion that you’ll die. Don’t jump to the conclusion that your leg won’t heal correctly. Look for reasons that will help you not to do that again! Maybe you need ski lessons. You know that won’t happen again. That’s positive, right?!

4. Think about a positive attitude as much as you can, if not all the time. Even say out loud, “I have a positive attitude!” Words are powerful and you’ll be amazed at how that can change your life.

5. Remember that a positive attitude makes you feel good. ‘Nuf said.

“People ask me how I afford all this camera stuff. Easy: I beg, borrow, and sometimes even buy it. I certainly don’t still own everything I’ve reviewed here since 1999. I’ve also had real jobs for many years which pays for what I do buy, and I live like a hermit otherwise.

That’s the easy answer, but then I realized that I’ve always had a knack for buying expensive toys long before I’d ever had a job. Hopefully my cheapskate tricks can help you, too, which is why I write this.

I bought my first expensive single-lens reflex camera when I was an 11 year old kid. I saved my allowance, and still couldn’t afford film. My dad was kind enough to buy me a roll every month or so if I was good.

When I was in college I bought one of the world’s first digital audio recorders to record my music gigs. I had never had a real job in my life. This was in 1981, two years before the CD came out and back when digital audio was beyond the means of most professional recording studios. Digital audio recorders cost the same as a house back then!

I was 19. I bought the then-revolutionary new Sony PCM-F1, which sold for the amazingly low sum of $1,900 in 1981 ($4,400 in today’s money). The next cheapest recorder had cost $50,000 the week before. I also had to buy a Betamax video recorder on which to save the data, an additional $1,100. Back in those days, VCRs were still as exotic as helicopters. This cost me a total of $3,000 in 1981 dollars, or $7,000 in today’s money.

How the heck could I do that? For comparison, my car had cost only $650!!!

If a kid can afford toys more expensive than Nikon D3s, using their own very limited funds, anyone can.

When we were little kids, my brother asked my dad “How come Kenny always can buy expensive things, but I can’t, and we get the same allowance?” My dad responded that it was because my brother insisted on going out and buying everything as soon as he wanted it, but that I waited, saved, and did my homework to find the same things for less.

Today that same brother, who has never had a real job as far as we know, has been traveling the world ever since he was in college. When asked how he does it with no particular source of income, he responds that “most people are too stupid to be poor.” By that he means that most people waste what money they do have on stupid things, like new cars and eating in restaurants, and don’t instead buy their food at the grocery store while traveling. He travels by carefully checking auctions for other peoples’ unused weeks of time shares, so he will travel when he can bag a week in Paris or Tobago for just a couple of hundred dollars. He has to be ready to travel on a moment’s notice when he wins these auctions, another advantage of having no real job.

Our ability to buy expensive toys has nothing to do with how much money we do or don’t earn. Like everything in life, it has everything to do with how well you use what you have.

Sorry if this article starts to read like a self-help video, but honestly, if you can’t afford these things today, you’re going to have to make some changes in your life if you want to. It doesn’t take money. It takes the guts to be a cheapskate.

What I’ll describe has always worked for me. I hope it helps you. Everyone’s situations are different, but hopefully my skinflint lifestyle will give you the idea. This is all about prioritization and not wasting what you do have, so if you prioritize differently or enjoy spending money on something I consider wasteful, go right ahead. I certainly don’t intend to offend anyone.

Prioritization

Half of being able to afford what you want is to spend your money on what you really want.

This should be obvious, but most people are suckered out of their biggest chunks of money by blowing most of their cash on the wrong things. People spend money on the wrong things because the people who take that money make it so comfortable and easy.

Never Buy a…“

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What Joseph Campbell says may shock some: These shattering moments of your life are exciting. They feed you. They are your sustenance. You need them to grow and so you should be happy about your suffering.

Usually when I’m suffering, I’m so not happy about it.

But I understand what he means by that. When you reach your lowest points, you cannot but wonder why these things are happening. You wonder what is the point? How can you live your life to the fullest? How can you grow personally? Who are you? Why are you here?

While the bad times are some of the most miserable times of your life, I encourage you to celebrate them. They are these moments that push you toward that personal transformation that will ultimately lead you to happiness and peace with yourself.

Nothing is exciting
if you know
what the outcome is going to be.
~ Joseph Campbell from Reflections on the Art of Living

I have some advice. Choose no more than 3 goals. I think 3 goals is a good number but choosing one, ginormous goal would be great as well. For example, I have a ginormous goal that will, no doubt, take more than one year but it’s a goal that with little steps, will help me achieve the big goal. I’ll be able to look back at the end of the year and see what I’ve done to achieve my huge goal. What is it? Well. I want to be able to live a sustainable life; but more importantly: My larger-than-life goal is to be completely self-sufficient. Providing my own food, living off the land, so to speak, but also, live a “green” life. That is huge, right? I know!

However big my goal is, it doesn’t overwhelm me, thankfully, in fact I am very happy to work on it constantly. I’m sure it’ll be a while before I’m “off-grid,” meaning being completely independent of energy companies (electricity, natural gas heating, water) but it’s a goal I really want to achieve at some point soon.

The little goals are important too, so for some of you, you will want to stick to smaller ones like getting in better shape, losing some weight, working on your own personal development (staying calm instead of exploding, sharing more, being kind as much as possible (instead of never! ), helping your community, showing more compassion toward others, etc.) Those are excellent goals, so don’t forget those either, but when you have an enormous goal set for the year, you know that you will think of that daily, then work on it whenever possible. It can only happen when it’s on your mind, so a good way to remember is to have a message that you’ll always see every day. A chalkboard or post-it note on the frig works! Even if you don’t do a thing about it that day, that’s ok, at least you will be reminded of your goal.

If huge goals like that aren’t your style, that’s fine. For instance, if I break down my goal into little ones and make a priority list, then I can go from there and I’ll have actual specifics to work with. Mini-goals could be: harvest the rain water, then set up a water filtering system; or learn more about vegetable gardening, or get (or build) a greenhouse, start composting to be able to use that in the garden later. Stuff like that.

The most important thing is to make your goals clear, so there’s no room for murkiness. Saying, “I want to lose weight for the new year” is not that clear unless you want to be vague like that. If you lose one pound by the end of the year and are happy with that, you go. However, a better goal would be, “I want to lose 15 pounds by the end of the year.” That’s very precise and do-able, see?

Make clear goals for yourself and be excited about achieving them.

Videos like these have been circulating for a while, and admit it. They are oh so very cute, cuddly and adorable and they will tend to give us all a warm fuzzy feeling all over but face it, it is so very wrong. Cell phones are direly dangerous to people, especially babies and toddlers. Keep these away from them! Geez, are you evil?

As an adult you have a choice of whether you want to expose yourself to electromagnetic frequencies (EMF) and radio frequencies (RF), which are microwaves, but little kids don’t know any better. If you want to microwave your brain, you go! Personally, I am not that fond of putting microwaves up to my head, but whatever. If you believe the industry when they say that cell phones are SAFE, just remember: “industries” also said asbestos, thalidamide and blood supply and PVC were safe. You know, for the bottom line. Manufacturers ALWAYS deny the existence of any dangers. It’s just plain obvious for evil corporations to say stuff like that, so don’t be a naive twit. So you think they are telling you the truth when they say there’s no documented evidence? If you do, you are ignorant and just plain idiotic. Guess what people, they LIE. Yes they do (Remember the tobacco industry saying that smoking has no dangers??? Puhleeze.) Do you think these cell phone companies care about what will happen to people? Answer: NO. (They just want to SELL.)

To be noted: There ARE warnings on those products to “limit the use of these products.” Yes, there are warnings. I WONDER WHY?!

Anyway, please try to keep these EMF and RF emitting devices away from vulnerable parties (babies, toddlers, ill people and the elderly), and please use your devices sparingly.

If you think I’m an alarmist, conspiracy theorist, good for you. Go ahead and live your life that ignoramus way. But maybe if you care (especially about your family), you can do a little research on your own about this subject. In any case, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Links: Cell Phone Dangers Revealed, Patents Prove Cell Phone Dangers from Wired, Hidden Dangers of Cell Phone Radiation, Chemical and Cell Phones, Harmful Effects of Cell Phones, Hazards of the Wireless Age

Chamomile – Chamomile has been used used in Europe, South America, and Mexico for insomnia and restlessness combined with irritability. Chamomile oil can also be put in bath water to soothe nerves. There are mild sedative effects associated with chamomile. The FDA considers chamomile to be safe and the herb has no known adverse effects. Don’t tale chamomile if you’re pregnant or suffer from any chronic disorders of the digestive tract, including ulcers and ulcerative colitis.

Oats – oats have a mild sedative effect and has long been used as an herbal treatment of insomnia. Oats are rich in vitamins A, B1, B2 and E, manganese, zinc, calcium, phosphorus. They are also used to treat nervous exhaustion and “weakness of the nerves. Oats are thought to stimulate sufficient nervous energy to make sleep possible.

Magnesium – Magnesium is helpful for relieving restless leg syndrome (RLS) and for treating insomnia. It is needed for bone, protein, and fatty acid formation, making new cells, activating B vitamins, relaxing muscles, clotting blood, and forming ATP – the muscle’s energy source. About half of the body’s magnesium stores are found inside cells of body tissues and organs, and half are combined with calcium and phosphorus in bone. Only 1% of the magnesium in the body is found in blood. Sources of magnesium include green vegetables such as spinach, as well as nuts, seeds, and some whole grains. The magnesium content of refined foods is usually low.

California Poppy – California Poppy was used by the Native Americans as a gentle sedative for children and the elderly. Although California Poppy is closely related to the Opium Poppy (Papaver somniferum) it has a markedly different effect on the central nervous system. California Poppy is not a narcotic and does not contain opiates like the Opium Poppy and is not addictive. In fact, rather than disorientating the user, it tends to normalize psychological function.

Medicinally, California poppy is a plant with sedative, analgesic and antispastic activities. It is particularly helpful if sleep is difficult from anxiousness and acute pain. It lessens both nerve centered and muscular pain, calms the mind and relieves anxiety.

Note: Please consult your private physician before undertaking any new methods for your insomnia.

“Feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or fatigued? Having trouble making decisions, falling and staying asleep and solving problems? A bit low on energy, just all-around baked? Life does that to us sometimes. The good news is…there’s a short list of simple practices that, done regularly, can pretty quickly un-bake your brain…and your body!

A NASA study revealed that…

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Yoga Today

From Slacker Manager:

“It’s that time of year again when most companies have holiday parties, which means most managers have to make an appearance and show their best side, at least for a few minutes. Being an office holiday party veteran, and having not always been as savvy about things as I am now, I thought I’d share my tips for surviving the holiday party. Share your favorite tips, or horror stories, in the comments section.

1. Moderation is the key – Don’t eat too much, don’t drink too much, and for heaven’s sake, don’t dance too much. Just be moderate and have a little bit of everything. Pukers are losers, so keep the amount of everything you do in moderation. If you’re even a little sick, be especially careful. A few year’s back I went to a holiday party and was sick, had a few too many appetizers, and wretched my guts out for over an hour. Oddly, I haven’t been invited to join that group for another event. I wonder why. NOT!
2. Fred Flintstone Can Dance at a Christmas Party! Smile at everyone – Nobody likes an office grump especially not at the holiday party. Take some time and smile and folks and folks will smile at you.
3. Give thanks – Think about your interactions over the past year with the person you’re standing next to. Did you work with them? Did they help you out? Did they win an associate of the month award? Anything specific is great, but even a nice “Thanks for all your help this year” goes a long way to building a great relationship for next year. Every year I make time to find the folks that help my team and me the most and to remind folks how much I appreciate their help…”

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From Life Clever:

“A messy desk is a sign of creativity and imagination. This is the excuse I gave myself for the mountain of papers, knickknacks, and San Pellegrino bottles normally piled on my desk at work. Truth is, I’m just lazy. When I started wasting more and more time looking for lost items instead of being a brilliant creative person, I knew I had to do something. I got my desk organized, and have been miraculously keeping it clean for the past three months.

4. Keep blank file folders…”

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About In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto from Publishers Weekly:

In his hugely influential treatise The Omnivore’s Dilemma, Pollan traced a direct line between the industrialization of our food supply and the degradation of the environment. His new book takes up where the previous work left off. Examining the question of what to eat from the perspective of health, this powerfully argued, thoroughly researched and elegant manifesto cuts straight to the chase with a maxim that is deceptively simple: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” But as Pollan explains, “food” in a country that is driven by “a thirty-two billion-dollar marketing machine” is both a loaded term and, in its purest sense, a holy grail. The first section of his three-part essay refutes the authority of the diet bullies, pointing up the confluence of interests among manufacturers of processed foods, marketers and nutritional scientists—a cabal whose nutritional advice has given rise to “a notably unhealthy preoccupation with nutrition and diet and the idea of eating healthily.” The second portion vivisects the Western diet, questioning, among other sacred cows, the idea that dietary fat leads to chronic illness. A writer of great subtlety, Pollan doesn’t preach to the choir; in fact, rarely does he preach at all, preferring to lets the facts speak for themselves. (Jan.)

Don’t mean to nag but I wanted to mention gentlly that Christmas is in 9 DAYS! Here are some gift ideas for people who care about and are interested in mind, body and spirit. This short list is hugely far from being complete and it’s always hard to make a selection. I know I should’ve listed more but I’ll try to come up with more suggestions as time goes on. This time around, I tried to include a variety of subjects. Hope this is helpful to you:

Food
Organic Nut Harvest Basket – 4 oz Organic Almonds, 4 oz Organic Trailmix, 4 oz Organic Butter Toffee Cashews & Peanuts, 4 oz Organic Pistachios in-the-shell, 4 oz Organic Cashews

Italian Cheese Sampler – our cheeses that are typical of four distinct regions of Italy: Toma Piedmontese – Made in the Piedmont region of course, this cheese is surface ripened, meaning it ripens from the rind inward. Toma is a delectable mountain cheese that has a thin rind, a custard-like texture, small pores and a sweet lactic flavor with a gentle bite. Piave Vecchio – Similar to Asiago, Piave Vecchio (aged) is a firm, dry, slightly nutty cheese from the valleys of Northeastern Italy. Mountain Gorgonzola – Italy’s famous blue cheese comes from Lombardy. Made from cow’s milk taken from local herds that graze on beautiful rolling pastures, no Italian Cheese Assortment would be complete without a cut of authentic Gorgonzola. Pecorino Toscano – This soft, sheep’s milk cheese is made in the hills of Tuscany. It is young, sweet and springy. We find that this combination well represents the wide variety of flavors and textures found in Italian cheeses.

Organic Crunch and Munch – Organic butter toffee cashews & peanuts, Sweet organic apples and pears, wholesome organic Pistachios and almonds.

French Cheese Assortment – captures a good bit of French cheese culture with the four cheeses listed below. One is of the “stinky” variety, one is a triple-crème, one is a chèvre, and one is a mountain cheese from the Alps. Buche Chevre: This classic French goat cheese is slightly aged, giving it a lot of character. Formed in the shape of a log (Buche is French for log), enjoy this cheese on salads, as a snack, or with fruit for dessert. Chaource: This decadent triple-creme is delicious at any stage of ripeness and has a slight mushroom scent with a rich, creamy flavor. Pont l’Eveque: This aromatic cheese from Normandy has a creamy, slightly spicy flavor. Pont l’Eveque has an edible reddish crust with a creamy, pale interior. It is an ancient cheese and truly one of the world’s great ones. Gruyère de Comté: Created by local villagers in alpine dairies called “Fruiteries”, its milk comes only from Montbeliarde and Tachete de L’est cows.

Music

Tibetan Meditation Music: For Quiet Mind and Peaceful Heart – Nawang Khechog’s gentleness comes through his music. Soft prayers, spoken and sung, in Tibetan filter up through lovely flute music along with tibetan gong, bells, and the occasional horn. I don’t know what it is exactly about Nawang’s music that relaxes me so completely, but it does and I am so greatful that all I have to do to take a “mini-vacation” is put on this music.

Quiet Mind: The Musical Journey of a Tibetan Nomad – Born of Tibetan nomads, Nawang Khechog discovered in childhood a deep affinity with the bamboo flute. In 1959, he fled to India and spent 11 years as a Buddhist monk before bringing his music to the West. Despite worldwide praise for his work, Nawang resolved in 1991 to return to mountain seclusion – until the Dalai Lama himself encouraged him to continue to share the power of his music with others. Quiet Mind reflects the far-reaching travels of this remarkable musician. It is his most personal transmission, a continuous prayer that imparts serenity to everyone it touches. With didgeridoo, Incan pan pipes, and ocarina.

In a Distant Place – Blend the Native American flute of Nakai with the Tibetan flutes of Khechog along with guitar and harp and you have a ‘best of both worlds’ effect which is original and haunting. The music comes alive and crosses cultures in a group which takes its ethnic roots a step further in a cross-cultural blend.

Tibet: Cry of the Snow Lion – This CD leaves me feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, more spiritually atuned and softened, more peaceful. Yet these words inadequately describe the beautiful sensation that Nawang’s music produces. I believe this music is life changing.

For the longest time, I couldn’t listen to The Goldberg Variations without thinking about Hannibal (The Cannibal) Lechter from Silence of the Lambs – let alone eat fava beans.

It made me sad because I love this recording by Glenn Gould. Luckily, I did overcome it and disassociated the two. Finally. Yay.

My baggage aside, one of the best things you can do for your life, is to stop everything and JUST listen to beautiful music for a while. You don’t have to spend the entire day doing this; just spend some allotted time to step away from the chaos of life, and just…chill. And chilling with music rules. Some of you are so used to multi-tasking and always doing a million things at the same time. You know I’m talking about you. Your days are filled with a continuous string of tasks back to back to back sans cesse, if you know what I mean. Calm, serenity, quiet, peaceful – well, these words do not exist in your life’s vocabulary.

Cut it out!

Do yourself a favor and find great music, like Glenn Gould: The Complete Original Jacket Collection

About Glenn Gould: The Complete Original Jacket Collection
Each of the 60 single and 9 double CDs consists of the exact recordings as first issued on vinyl and looks like a miniaturised form of the original disc: the CDs are in cardboard slipcases in the original design, and the CD itself is designed to look like a LP.

The bonus CDs include the last great interview that Glenn Gould gave the American journalist Tim Page in 1981 and an essay on Johann Sebastian Bach and the fugue that Gould recorded in 1972 for a bonus LP. They also feature a number of late recordings that never appeared on vinyl: fragments of the “Italian Album” and Wagner’s Siegfried Idyll in its orchestral version — Gould’s recording debut as conductor and his last recording of all, made on 8 September 1982 with members of the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. Another rarity is Gould’s own film music to George Roy Hill’s Slaughterhouse Five from 1972.

Eco Gift Expo

Eco Gift Expo
Santa Monica Civic Auditorium, 1855 Main St., Santa Monica
Sat., Dec. 15, 9 am – 8 pm and Sun., Dec. 16, 9 am – 5 pm
($10 online, $15 at the door; free for seniors and children under 12)

About Eat, Pray, Love:

At the age of thirty-one, Gilbert moved with her husband to the suburbs of New York and began trying to get pregnant, only to realize that she wanted neither a child nor a husband. Three years later, after a protracted divorce, she embarked on a yearlong trip of recovery, with three main stops: Rome, for pleasure (mostly gustatory, with a special emphasis on gelato); an ashram outside of Mumbai, for spiritual searching; and Bali, for “balancing.” These destinations are all on the beaten track, but Gilbert’s exuberance and her self-deprecating humor enliven the proceedings: recalling the first time she attempted to speak directly to God, she says, “It was all I could do to stop myself from saying, ‘I’ve always been a big fan of your work.’”

Click here: Eat, Pray, Love

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Why do we hold grudges and become resentful and unforgiving?
The people most likely to hurt us are those closest to us — our partners, friends, siblings and parents. When we’re hurt by someone we love and trust — whether it’s a lie, betrayal, rejection, abuse or insult — it can be extremely difficult to…”

Read the full article

What do Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison all have in common? They’ve all made considerable contributions to the advancement of mankind, they’re all distinguished in their respective fields, and they were all avid power nappers.

Conversely, if you’re getting eight hours of sleep each night yet still feel the need to nap, that might be the sign of a sleep disorder, or another health problem, so check with your physician.

Be You TV

With a divorce rate in this country approaching 45 percent, many couples are wondering how they can stay married once they get married. Often it seems easier to find love than to maintain it. After the initial high of new love wears off — and it always does — every couple needs tools to keep and nurture their love. Here are five tips to consider when working toward longevity in your relationship.

5. Treasure your “life history.” When you stay together with someone you love, it inevitably means that you build something together. This “something” is something invaluable and irreplaceable — a life history. No other person will know you as intimately and intensely for these years of your life: Who else will share your happiness and disappointments as fully, love your children the way you do and hold the same memories of your family? These commonalties are often underrated by couples and then sorely missed when they are gone. Value, nurture and hold on to your life history, because it will be a tremendous source of pleasure to you both.

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1. The Omnivore’s Dilemma – Michael Pollan writes about how our food is grown — what it is, in fact, that we are eating. The book is really three in one: The first section discusses industrial farming; the second, organic food, both as big business and on a relatively small farm; and the third, what it is like to hunt and gather food for oneself. And each section culminates in a meal — a cheeseburger and fries from McDonald’s; roast chicken, vegetables and a salad from Whole Foods; and grilled chicken, corn and a chocolate soufflé (made with fresh eggs) from a sustainable farm; and, finally, mushrooms and pork, foraged from the wild.

2. What to Eat – This is a readers a virtual tour, highlighting the main concerns of each food group, including baby, health and prepared foods, and supplements. Nestle’s prose is informative and entertaining; she takes on the role of detective, searching for clues to the puzzle of healthy and satisfying nutrition. Her intelligent and reassuring approach will likely make readers venture more confidently through the jungle of today’s super-sized stores.

3. Real Food – What to Eat and Why – Planck links good nutrition to sensible enjoyment of food in all its variety.

4. Chew on This – Everything You Don’t Want to Know – Including passages from Schlosser’s best-selling adult book Fast Food Nation (2001) and other writings, the authors dish up a somewhat-less-stomach-churning look at the fast-food industry’s growth, practices, and effects on public health.

Stress can oftentimes lead to serious health and emotional problems. Here are some suggestions as to how to avoid getting to the point where you are endangering your health because you can’t seem to calm down:

1. Stop drinking coffee – “What!?” you say? Ok, if you MUST have your caffeine fix, try to limit the amount you drink per day. And if possible, try to find an organic coffee that doesn’t have additives, preservatives and other chemicals in it that can make you feel jittery, stressed and oftentimes grumpy. Uh yeah, didn’t you ever wonder why you GET so grumpy? Just remember: nobody likes a grump.

2. Take up Yoga and/or Tai Chi. Or some other activity that enables you to focus on your body. Though these activities seem like they do nothing for your body, you’d be amazed at how fit you get, how clear your thinking becomes and how much better you sleep. You also feel more alert during the day when participating in tai chi and yoga.

3. Take a bath. I know, I know, you shower people don’t even know HOW to take a bath. Maybe THAT’S why you smell. (just kidding!) Well, you know why you can’t take a bath? Because you can’t relax! Geez. Get a clue. Take a bath and do nothing for 10 minutes or more. Feel the tension leave your shoulders and try to focus on relaxing all of your muscles. You will thank me for this.

4. Exercise. NO excuses! Exercise is so good for you, it’s not even funny.

5. Breathe. Don’t give me any attitude. I KNOW you breathe. I mean take deep breaths and be more mindful of your breathing. It does relax you and it’s good for your body to receive much needed oxygen and circulation.

6. Get a massage. You can’t get more relaxed than after a massage. If you aren’t relaxed after a massage, you need extra help! Call your doctor.

7. Go for a walk. Walking? WHAT is that? C’mon. Do it. It’s good for you. You don’t have to be premanently attached to your car.

You may think this is a TOTAL waste of time but if you do, you’re an idiot. Oops! Sorry for being rude and calling you an idiot. heehee. Anyway, any small gesture that puts a perk in your step, is good for you – so take as many opportunities as you can to feel good. Try not to browse too much at work. You may get fired, and then you might feel really, really bad.

Don’t fret, I say that with a smile! haha.

If you try to smile more often, it will make a huge difference in your life. 1) People will react more positively toward you; maybe those people were grumpy (for whatever reason) and when you approached them all happy and everything, it changed their outlook. it can oftentimes cause a happy chain reaction; 2) Forcing yourself to smile may make you feel ridiculous especially if you don’t happen to feel like it but by doing so, it creates a sort of chemical reaction that will uplift your whole being. Why DON’T you want to smile, anyway. Just try to do that more often and you’ll see the positive results.

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